So, the twelfth stone on top of this Joshua 4 monument is a person, and that person is my wife. The last season on life and ministry would not have been what it was, and is, without her. I’ve learned so much about love and courage from her.

I remember being a twenty-something mountain boy, staring up at the stars, contemplating that the starry sky, so unfathomable and huge, full of granduer, mystery, and stillness, was a similar display to the starry show that Abraham watched as G-d said, “Count them if you can…so shall your offspring be” (paraphrased Gen 15:5). And to think that (as the Rich Mullins song put it), “one star he saw had been lit for me,” as well as for the person whom I would meet and marry.  The seeming impossiblity that two random stars in a sea of space would somehow meet, often seemed to be wishful thinking at best. But as I followed the Lord on crazy adventures (California, Mexico, Texas, Washington, Hawaii, Tennessee, Florida, then to Georgia), I realized that I didn’t need to worry. In one conversation with my friend Ted, I blurted out (in a moment of revelatory wisdom), “I don’t need to look for her [my wife], she’s not lost. She’s right where I am, in the palm of His [God’s] hand.” And that is how the whole thing worked itself out. When I finally came to the end of myself (and trying to make things work my way), it’s as if God said, “now that you’re done, check this out.” And in the wilderness of a prayer room, with all props of familiarity pulled out from under me, I noticed a beautiful voice (with a beautiful face) singing on the worship team…and getting to know her more, I fell in love with her beautiful heart.

Fast-forward three years, we moved to Arizona to work in Whiteriver, AZ, where we learned to cling to each other. The next year (2009) was a year of tears: through miscarriages and a still-birth of our baby boy. Such pain, but I learned from my wife that courage is sometimes just showing up and not giving up. As C.S. Lewis wrote, “Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.” So with my wife, I learned the persistence of hope, as we came to welcome our daughter Sarah Clare into the world.

Now we are in a new season. It is official now, since I finally finished my Josh 4 monument (sheesh, took long enough 🙂 The Lord is doing so much, but one thing that I expect will continue is that I’ll learn more about myself, my wife, and God. During our engagement, one Scripture that my wife and I identified with was the story of Jonathan and his armor bearer (1 Samuel 14) – in that, we felt that we are both made for adventure, and we choose to stand with each other in battle. Well, one may romanticize the battlefield with glorious bravery against all odds, but the grit and tragedy is often not recognized. It is my honor, however, that as I look back on the past 5 1/2 years, the battle that I’ve pushed through, swung my sword through, grunted through, and cried through, I did it all with the most valiant warrior by my side. She is my bride. She is made for adventure. She is courageous. And it is my honor to be her husband.