The love of God is not a pastry – it is a meal. Or for that matter, perhaps it is the protein that makes up the food. While fame, money, self-reliance, or the many other things that we fill our lives with, may keep us going, they may substitute but cannot replace the building block for a healthy life. Sometimes western Christianity has a tendency to cast the vibe that the love of God is a garnish to an ‘American Dream,’ when it is so much more. Journeying beyond calorie induced metaphors, I sense more and more that the love of God is the very air that fills our lungs. Every moment is grace. Frederick Buechner wrote in his book, Wishful Thinking: a seekers abc (1973):

The grace of God means something like: Here is your life. You might never have been, but you are because the party wouldn’t have been complete without you. Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don’t be afraid. I am with you. Nothing can ever separate us. It’s for you I created the universe. I love you (p. 39).

As I walk through the seminary of life and repeat for the 34th time my class on Wilderness 101, one thing I can say is that I know God is good. I’ve experienced bad things, but know that God is good. The love and grace of God does not mean we won’t get wounded, but that God is greater, and the redemption that He will orchestrate (if we let Him) gives beauty for ashes and joy for mourning.

Continuing Brennan Manning’s Ruthless Trust (2000) today, I was hit by these sentences:

We are, each and every one of us, insignificant people whom God has called and graced to use in a significant way. In His eyes, the high-profile ministries are no more significant than those that draw little or no attention and publicity. On the last day, Jesus will look us over not for medals, diplomas, or honors, but for scars (p. 48).

I do have a sense (as Manning’s words share) that my Beloved King and Lord recognizes my scars as worship:

  • Crying out from a cabin in the White Mountains, longing to know God more – in the midst of loneliness and an unknown future.
  • Moving to the East Coast with my ‘life’ packed into a Chevy Cavalier, not knowing anyone.
  • Trusting, hoping and crying after getting the call from the hospital knowing that something went wrong with my wife’s pregnancy.
  • The drive to the mortuary to pick up my son’s ashes the day of the funeral.
  • The list goes on, but those are big ones…

The fact that Jesus walked through these times with me is hope and grace. I am known, and in ministry, He sees my faithfulness in sharing His love, not necessarily in the outcomes that I can sometimes get so hung up on. Could it be that He pays closest attention to the things that others don’t pay any attention to? Affirming a young adult working to get his GED. Praying for the hearts of Jr. Highers to be open to the Gospel. Praying for High Schoolers to make decisions for a healthy future. Or praying every day to be a better husband and father. Or the other things that shall remain in the secret place…maybe that’s where the most ‘successful’ place is: the secret place, where it is truly just you and Jesus. Where the small acts of kindness that you show throughout the day are inside jokes, delights, and victories known only and discussed only with the Creator who slipped under the radar to die for His creation…

Reference:
Buechner, F. (1973). Wishful Thinking: a seeker’s abc. NY: HarperCollins
Manning, B. (2000). Ruthless Trust: the ragamuffin’s path to God. NY: HarperCollins