I’m in a transition. Actually, I’ve been in a transition for about 28 years. People always talk about “transitions,” and as if it’s a bad thing, it’s something that they continually try to “get over.” Well, Job, Abraham, Jacob, Moses, Joshua, Paul, Elijah, Jeremiah…seemed to always be in transition, but it wasn’t called “transition.” Reading their words, it seems like it could better be called “life.” Lately, I’ve come to the startling realization that I’m Messed Up. I’ve been praying for more of God for about 10 years now, and now the only satisfaction I get is when I’m praying, or worshipping. Any and all “kingdoms” that I’ve built for myself lately have proven rubbish, all earthly belongings have shown themselves to be dirt, all “good works” a filthy rag, and all attempts of any ambition whatsoever is slammed against a brick wall.
This morning I’m in the prayer room. I’m here mainly because I’m tired of sleeping, eating, crying, and pretty much anything of the concrete kingdoms we have built for ourselves. It just doesn’t make any sense. Why do we fill our lives with stuff that fade? We’ve filled it with so many things that not only have a habit of hurting us, but stuff that will keep us going in a continual circle of meaninglessness. TV, time saving devices, expensive cars, instruments of vice, objects of pride, and spectacles made for attention. People may argue, “Well that’s what life is about: building a life for yourself, making a family, making a career, being successful…” Well, that’s not my life. It might make me weird that I don’t live for that, but that’s OK; besides, I’m not so sure “weird” is how God made me, or what He thinks of my existence. I believe He made me this way, and now I can’t be anything else out of good conscience or attempt.
Last night, on the evening of my 10,263rd day of transition. I was praying, because this transition isn’t getting any easier. I felt like God was leading me to read Jeremiah. He stopped me at Jeremiah 2:13, “For My people have committed two evils; They have forsaken Me, the fountain of living waters, And hewn themselves cisterns-broken cisterns that can hold no water.” The verse made me hit my knees. How often does education, career, “bigger and better,” define a successful life. Well, my friend…”The world and it’s desires are fading away.” Let me be one of those who lives in the fresh newness of life. Let me be defined by who I am in the presence of the Almighty God.