Oh the still, cool night. Seasons come and go, and one thing that I’ve learned is that Springs and Falls in Georgia are awesome. (Summer has much to be desired, but it’s sandwiched between two wonderful seasons) Last night during service at the House of Prayer, during ministry time, I felt something move inside of me that I hadn’t in a while. It was an ache to return to the center of my being. Contemplatives through history always referred to the “center,” the gut, the motivation, the essence of who you are…the heart of the heart. Well, mine drew me to my knees last night. In the middle of the band playing around room volume of 98 decibels, I felt a little, quiet tug at my heart. It was calling me to the quiet, a lot quieter than 98 dB, so I went out of the glass double doors of the prayer room and walked around the parking lot. I didn’t take long before my heart was caught on the cresent moon that hung firmly in the air. In a second I felt peace, longing, and joy. When all those things shoot through your heart it sort feels like your heart’s being tied in a knot. Such was the case last night.
The past few months I’ve felt like God has been leading me through a healing process. At first it just felt like I was continually bleeding all over the place with my brokenness. I’d start feeling better as though the wound would be healing, but then something would happen to where I’d just feel like the scab would be torn off and blood would start flowing again. But sometime in early July I felt God start to pick me with a surgeon’s needle. The healing began to become very pointed as He started to seemingly address very specific issues in my life. I felt like He began to heal me with revelation and lessons in His love. Last night with the tying of my heart, I feel that He tied a the surgeon’s thread…the stitch of His healing.
Staring at the moon everything was so peaceful. The world still rushed around me and the cacophonic notes could still be heard inside, but as I lifted my eyes up to the metaphorical mountains (the moon in my case) I felt a still small voice of reassurance that I was still held by the Universe Spinning Hand of God.
Jesus is coming back. Centuries have heard it, creation has groaned and waited…and waited…and waited. From soap box preachers to stuffy Sunday morning hymns we’ve heard it not knowing the full reality of the message. Escatological sermons have filled airwaves, hard wooden pews, and classroom chairs of higher learning. But the utter truth is that Jesus really is coming back. With fire in His eyes and garment stained red, He is returning as Judge, Faitful and True, Beginning and End, Faithful Witness, Lion of the Tribe of Judah, King of kings and Lord of lords. All the crying out of the Church (the Bride of Christ) will not go unheard. The birth pained creation will restlessly cry out for its Creator, the Bride of Christ will cry out night and day in lovesick longing until that earthly moment breaks forth and collides with eternity.
CS Lewis wrote in his book “Mere Christianity”:
“God is going to invade, all right: but what is the good of saying you are on His side then, when you see the whole natural universe melting away like a dream and something else~something it never entered your head to conceive~comes crashing in; something so beautiful to some of us and so terrible to others that none of us will have any choice left? For this time it will be God without disguise; something so overwhelming that it will strike eiter irresistible love or irresistible horror into every creature. It will be too late then to choose your side. There is no use saying you choose to lie down when it has become impossible to stand up. That will not be the time for choosing: it will be the time when we discover which side we really have chosen, whether we realised it before of not. Now, today, this moment, is our chance to choose the right side. God is holding back to give us that chance. It will not last for ever. We must take it or leave it.”
Maybe I was able to hear the voice last night because it was quiet enough to hear it. Maybe I heard it last night because before then I wasn’t ready to hear it. Maybe it wasn’t ready to tell me. But the revelation was broken through to my heart. The mercy of God that broke through was that Jesus (the Bridegroom) is waiting; He is longing for His Bride 7 zillion times more than she could ever long for Him. The moments of peace are mercy because the earth is erupting, crying out, bursting forth and the Bridegroom along with the rest of the Trinity are holding back for the Bride to be made worthy and pure, and for more to come to Him. The maturity of the Bride is beating strong in His heart. This moment is mercy.