Let’s be honest. It has been the hardest year of our entire lives. I’m not even exaggerating. On top of the regular ups and downs of mission work, intervening in some lives of teens we work with, financially living by faith, we also lost our son Elijah, and the past months have not been without their trouble. Along the journey of asking “why” (a question that God’s been getting most of Earth’s history), I’ve found myself (numerous times) trying to remind God that we’re His friends. We don’t feel that God is the causation of our pain, but like anyone who goes through pain, the reality is that the Almighty, sovereign, Creator of the Universe allowed [...]

I know that in grieving, anger is OK. Even anger at God. God can handle our anger. But through this process of losing our boy I haven't been angry at God. I've been angry at the circumstance,I've been angry at death, and I've been angry at fallen humanity. When it comes to God I am: in awe at His goodness, captivated by His mystery, thankful for His incarnation (He sympathizes with my weakness), and I am at peace in His sovereignty. I think with our humanistic mindsets in the western culture, we are quick to think that we are entitled to a lot of things. To think that God is sovereign messes with us, because humanistic [...]

Sometimes there are tragedies that completely shake your life. Such has been the case with losing our boy. I’m finding that if the shaking is hard enough it will shatter your heart into a million pieces. Life then becomes a process of picking up those pieces and putting your heart back together. I am convinced that how you view God completely determines what kind of heart you will have once it is all over. Your perception of God is absolutely defining in those times. Who is God? An angry Grinch? A good Father or an unapproachable one? Knowing God’s attributes is crucial to putting your heart back together. The problem then, is that in trial our [...]

"Courage is not simply one of the virtues but the form of every virtue at the testing point, which means at the point of highest reality." - C.S. Lewis Today was the hardest day of my life. I watched my wife give birth to our lifeless child today. I saw the bravest person I've ever known in the eyes of my best friend. Today we said hello and goodbye to our son in the same breath, for this side of Heaven. I fell in love all over again. With God and with my wife. I can't wait to see my boy again: on the other side, where we'll never have to say goodbye again. Thank you [...]