Uncategorized Archives - Page 12 of 18

Of Waking Up: Remembering to Remember Part 6

By Joel|2014-08-26T00:27:58+00:00June 20th, 2005|Uncategorized|

Black Don't touch your forehead! Black The blur of numbness kicks in. Figures above me, one of which looks a little familar. The familiar one looked like my mother, the others I suppose were doctors. The one to my left asked, "What's your name?" "Joel Bidderman," I said. I thought it a little odd at first, since he could have just asked my mom because she was standing right there. Then he asked, "What day is it?" I said, "October 29th." To that he said something like, "Actually, it's the 30th; it's 12:45 in the morning." Great, of all the doctors I got the sarcastic one. But apparently up until then I had been saying all [...]

Wet Knees and a Fresh Heart: Remembering to Remember Part 2

By Joel|2014-09-02T00:47:32+00:00May 30th, 2005|Uncategorized|

I don't remember too much from my childhood. Maybe it's due to my car accident that I had when I was 18...or maybe life just moves that fast; so fast that I can't really tell much difference from today and when I was 8. But certain things pop into my head: Christmas time with a dark room and a glowing tree, that always made me think that if Moses saw it it would give him flashbacks; or GI Joes; Indiana Jones; the terror of running over a snake on my bicyle; climbing trees and playing capture the flag. My foremost question is not "Where has time gone?" but "Where have I gone?" The preppy Jr Higher, [...]

Remembering how to remember: Part 1

By Joel|2014-09-02T00:46:59+00:00May 25th, 2005|Uncategorized|

Recently I've started to read a book by my favorite author Frederick Buechner. The book is called "A Room Called Remember," and is introduced and themed around a dream that Buechner had. In a nutshell (that is"summed up," his actual dream did not take place in a nutshell) his dream plotted that he was staying in an incredibly euphoric hotel room but when he left it he found that he couldn't find it again. He went to a front desk and explain his predicament and the room, and the person at the front desk knew exactly the room he was speaking of, and he told Frederick that all he had to do was to ask for [...]

Of Cisterns and Other Leaky Things…

By Joel|2014-08-26T00:14:56+00:00April 25th, 2005|Uncategorized|

I'm in a transition. Actually, I've been in a transition for about 28 years. People always talk about "transitions," and as if it's a bad thing, it's something that they continually try to "get over." Well, Job, Abraham, Jacob, Moses, Joshua, Paul, Elijah, Jeremiah...seemed to always be in transition, but it wasn't called "transition." Reading their words, it seems like it could better be called "life." Lately, I've come to the startling realization that I'm Messed Up. I've been praying for more of God for about 10 years now, and now the only satisfaction I get is when I'm praying, or worshipping. Any and all "kingdoms" that I've built for myself lately have proven rubbish, all [...]