A primary factor in our time on the Fort Apache reservation, that is monumental in memory of how the Lord has worked, is something that I learned in the quiet place (IHOP-Atlanta was instrumental in this reality). God desires me. This changes everything. Strangely enough, the sentiment that God loves me doesn’t do the same thing to my heart. As Rich Mullins once said, “I grew up hearing everyone tell me ‘God loves you’. I would say big deal, God loves everybody. That don’t make me special! That just proves that God ain’t got no taste.” God is love, if God didn’t love me, He’d be acting contrary to Who He is right? Maybe it’s the way that our society today throws the word “love” around (seemingly carelessly), that God loving us (even perfectly) doesn’t seem to be that great of a feat. But the idea that God desires me, that He likes me (so much that He plans to purge me of my sin), and is intimately involved in my life…that changes everything. It’s a whole new dimension of love: there’s outward emotion attached to it; it’s not just a theory. It makes it so my effort is put into understanding Him more, learning about Him and His love for me, and receiving that love, instead of trying to work harder to earn it. When I screw up, I don’t have to stay away out of fear and shame, but I can go back into His presence as a child, and He holds me in His loving Father arms. When I don’t spend time in the quiet place, I am not driven back to the quiet place out of guilt, but instead out of longing to be in His presence again. “O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water” (Psalm 63:1).

So much has happened in our season of working on the reservation: tragedy, joys, victories, and defeats. One thing remains, however. We hunger for the living God, who, not just loves us, but desires for us to partner with His heart. This reality is what got us through our personal losses, aggravating moments, and hopes for the future. It’s a foundational stone in our Josh 4 monument. We’ll look back at these three years, not as a reluctant recollection, but as worshipful season, where we were crushed, purified, and challenged, but came out the other side more in love with God and each other.