“…may give you the spirit of wisdom…”
I want wisdom. Sure, I want to be smart, but I just want wisdom for the fullness of life. I mean, what matters? What doesn’t matter? Solomon (The wisest King EVER) once said, “Vanity, it (life) is all vanity. A chase after the wind.” (Not vanity in the sense of conceit, vanity in the sense of “emptiness”) While meditating on this passage today I was hit by the next part of the verse, but not in the way you’d expect. I want wisdom, but the thing that stuck in my mind was the part of the phrase “may give.” I’m still not sure exactly why, but I’m starting to realize that often when I pray for something, the thing I really want is not the actual objective thing I’m praying for, but instead the “may give.” I just want a touch from the omnipresent God. What’s more, the greek word for “may give” here is didomi, and one of its meanings is: to smite (+with the hand), or to strike (+with the palm of the hand). This prayer isn’t a passive kind of prayer. It’s an active prayer of desperation. It’s not a “God if You feel like it can You send a little my way” kind of prayer, it’s a “God please release it! I don’t care if it kills me, I just want it so bad! Hit me with it!” I just want His wisdom, not the world’s wisdom. His wisdom, and “revelation in the knowledge of Him” (ff). It’s the desperate cry of the heavy laden, the burned out, those hanging on with the last of their strength.
“God, I long for Your didomi in my life. My heart’s desire is You. None other. Give me what You desire to give me. I declare with the Psalmist that ‘better is one day in Your courts, than a thousand anywhere else.'”